July 01, 2004 - 1:17 am

I could kill this guy at work. I went in to pick up my paycheck. he knew I was coming in, like 3 hours beforehand. I get there, he's busy, I have to wait around. he FINALLY gets the check envelope out, sets it down, walks off! comes back like 2 min later, starts doing other stuff. so I reach over, and get my check out of the envelope, and he freaks out! starts screaming at me 'I'm supposed to give you the check' stands there screaming at me for like 5 minutes.takes the check back. I'm like 'give me my check' 'no, you can't have it til tomorrow.' 'it's my check, give me it, I need to get to the bank, I'm not playing.' he screams at me more, says he has to do paperwork, fucks around for another 5 minutes. finally gives me the check. guess how long the bank had been closed when I got there. 5 minutes! EXACTLY! I'm VERY pissed off, and going to talk to the owner Thursday or Friday, which I don't really expect to do any good.

June 26, 2004 - 1:56 am

Mike got dumped, so decided to call me, he said so I could gloat. 'Cept, I'm not particularly inclined to gloat, and I'm sorry things didn't work out and he's mopey. But him acting like an asshole/idiot twice, pretty much used up my patience/empathy/friendship. I'm horny tho, and he was fun, and why on earth would he call me if he wasn't trying to get back having a fuck buddy? So, we can do that, and maybe I'll redevelop patience etc. And even if I don't, at least I'll get laid. I better the hell get laid, cos he hasn't been worth much as a friend, so at the moment all he's got going for him are the benefits.
Justin wants to play, and he's nice and all. But, he's rather innocent, and just comes across as significantly more subbie than I'm really up for ATM. I dunno tho. We've only hung out once. So, he's gonna help me with some stuff I've gotta get done for getting into college this fall, and I'll see how that goes.
Josh never seems to want to chat. When he was up at school, well before we were ever anywhere near guy/girl interaction, we were chatting for a couple hours nearly every day, and now I don't think we're chatting a couple hours a week even. I'm thinking he just said he wanted to be friends because he felt badly about dumping me. Which sucks, cos we got along really well as friends. Oh well tho, guess I can't really do anything, so, write him off.
And there's a couple possibly interesting ppl from OKCupid, so, I guess things are looking up. Mainly cos of ok cupid actually, otherwise only guy I'd have to write about would be Josh. So that's something anyway.
I'm planning to call the 'no purple hair' job tomorrow, and say 'Sorry, I want purple hair more than I want to work for you. Mail me the $64 you owe me for that waste of time orientation.' Discounting money spent on the 4 metro trips related to them, and taxes, I'm gonna have made $40 or so, which isn't bad.

June 24, 2004 - 5:15 pm

So I gotta decide between an easier job, that pays less, and I'm working with annoying ppl, but my hair can be purple if I want (which I do want), or a more difficult job, that pays more, but my hair can't be purple. And the ppl there probably are also annoying, cos one guy warned me today when he found out I was gonna be working there, that ppl there would 'plot to destroy me'. And I'm leaning towards easier and pays less, and just adding some days to my schedule for extra money, cos lately it seems like that wouldn't be a problem at all, my working more hours/days. And Damnit, I LIKE my hair purple!

June 23, 2004 - 12:58 am

I would have graduated this month. Instead I don't even know if I'm going to manage college this fall. I haven't really learned anything in, oh, 8, 10 years. Things I used to know, specifically math, I've entirely lost, and trying to get them back is killing me. I don't know if I'll be able to get back to who I was intellectually, or even something like her.
I could have made different choices. I made the choices I made. It has been pointed out to me, that things other than myself influenced those choices, created situations wherein I needed to make a choice, but it was still my choice. I could have called the cops. I could have walked up to the highway and gotten in a truck instead of sitting on the guardrail and turning around and going home. I could have stayed in school. I could have pulled the trigger, dragged the blade a bit deeper or further up. Choices into choices into choices, and here I am.
As much as I believe anything, I believe in reincarnation. I believe the essence of who we are comes back and experiences life, over and over and over again, learning and experiencing new things. But what am I learning this time around? Pain, hate, fear, sorrow, regret? Can being broken really make you stronger once you're put back together again? Can you ever be put back together again? Fragments get lost, others don't quite fit back together properly. Even if you find the glue, there will always be stress lines along the fractures. And if you protect those stress lines, then, that makes you weaker, doesn't it? Then you spend all your time guarding. I just don't know.
Is the fact that I've been here for the past 9 years a good thing? Has the good I've done outweighed the bad? Have any of the things I've done been good at all? If I hadn't been here, hadn't done what I've done, would people be better off?

June 22, 2004 - 7:59 pm

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. The things that are not entirely true, but not entirely wrong either, put in italics.


01. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions.
02. I don't watch much TV these days.
Watching TV shows on the computer doesn't count.*grin*
03. I love broccoli.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I have loads of books.
Dead tree and electronic
06. I once slept in a toilet.
07. I love playing video games.
08. I adore marijuana.
09. I watch porn movies.
10. I watch "One Tree Hill".
11. I like sharks.
12. I love spiders
13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair.
14. I like George W. Bush.
15. People are cool.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a Toyota and a pool.
18. I have a lot to learn.
19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself.
20. I'm really, really smart.
21. I've never broken someone's bones.
22. I have a secret.
23. I hate rain.
24. I drink health juice.
25. Punk rock rules.
26. I hate Bill Gates.
27. I love Vietnamese food.
28. I would hate to be famous.
29. I am not a morning person.
30. I have semi-long hair.
31. I have short hair.
32. I have potential.
Potential is such an all encompassing word. There's potential to do good things, potential for mayhem, potential for obscurity, etc
33. I'm pure Afghan.
34. My legs are two different sizes.
35. I have a twin.
36. I wear knee socks.
37. I can roll my tongue.
38. I like the way that I look.
39. I'm obsessed with Italian food.
40. I know how to French braid.
41. I can be pessimistic or optimistic whenever I want.
42. I have a lot of mood swings.
43. I skateboard/snowboard.
44. I think that skateboarders are HOT.
45. I'm in a band.
46. I have talent.
47. I'm always hyper when I have sugar.
48. I think that I'm popular.
49. I am currently single.
50. I can't swim.
51. My favorite color is either blue, red, or white.
52. I practically live in sweatshirts.
53. I love to shop.
Depends what I'm shopping for. Geeky stuff, I LOVE.
54. I would classify myself as either punk or goth.
I'd classify myself as a geek, but I'm a kinda gothy geek.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm a prep, shop at abercrombie, and ADMIT IT.
57. I'm obsessed with my xanga.
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I know how to square dance.
I sorta know how to. We did square dancing in gym class when I was a kid.
60. I have a unibrow.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mom.
62. I have a cell phone.
63. I believe in God.
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
65. I know how to play the tuba.
66. I need coffee to live.
67. The last thing I ate was not good for me.
68. I've rejected someone before.
69. I currently like someone and they have no idea that I like them.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
71. I want to have kids when I get older.
72. I have changed a diaper before.
73. I've called the cops on a friend before.
74. I bite my nails.
75. I am a member of the Hilary Duff fan club.
76. I'm not allergic to anything.
77. I love Broadway plays, and have been to at least 3.
78. I have no idea who the 38th president was.
79. I saw Mary Kate and Ashley's new movie.
80. I am completely shy around the opposite sex.
81. I'm online 24/7.
82. I have at least 25 away messages saved.
83. I have tried alcohol.
84. I loved Rush Hour.
85. I've read all of the Harry Potter books.
86. If I were a dwarf, I would be dopey.
87. When I was a kid I played with G.I. Joe.
88. I don't mind country music.
89. I would die for my friends.
Kill for them, sure. Die for them? I dunno. I dunno that I'd die for myself, let alone anyone else.
90. I think that Juicy Fruit is the best type of gum.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive and paranoid and extremely jumpy.
93. Ashton Kutcher is a major hottie.
Vin Diesel is a major hottie. Ashton is alright.
94. I love the Beatles.
95. I know all the words to 'Barbie Girl'.
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
Halloween is awsome for reasons other than candy. Tho candy is cool too.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I am wearing black.
My shoes.
99. I want this damned thing to be over.
100. I'm happy.

June 22, 2004 - 3:32 am

I wasn't supposed to work today (Monday). But the annoying cook who always hit on me quit/got fired, and so Janey (annoying bossy idiotic driver) asked if I could work for a couple hours. So I said alright. Ended up with 5 hours of sleep, but figured, meh, I'll work what, 6 hours tops, then come home. So, got up at 9:30, left at 9:45. Roughly 75 minutes travel, got to work at 11. Left work at 8:45 pm. Nearly 10 hours. And then it was a 75 minute trip home. And I dozed off on the subway, which I haven't done in roughly a decade. But woke up before my stop this time. And then when I got off the subway, suddenly I was all awake, cos there was this whole perfect summer night thing going on. And obviously I didn't go to bed when I got home.
So Josh keeps showing up in my dreams. Oddly enough, not sexually, just, as a main character. The only sex dream I had lately (that I remember), it wasn't Josh, was jail-bait boy from last summer. And then last night I had a dream that something bad happened to Kali. So I called mom today to check. But Kali was fine. So it was just a stupid dream. Haven't heard from CPK yet. SOO want to quit Pizza Palace already. Thinking HARD about quitting without notice. Probably won't, but thinking about it. I sleep now.

June 17, 2004 - 8:01 pm

Got the drug test done. I had to fill out some paperwork at CPK, and then go to a doc's office in downtown DC. There was privacy tho, so I didn't make an issue. Was annoying tho, cos couldn't run water until had given the nurse the sample, and rather needed to wash my hands after. So for like 2 minutes while she did arcane things with the sample, I had to stand there and wait. I'd have rather washed my hands, and then washed them again after I dumped the unneeded portion of the sample, but whatever.
Then I had lunch at some random place downtown, cheeseburger, yummy. Succumbed to the temptation of a chocolate shop, and spent $15 on truffles.
Saw Stepford Wives with Josh. The platonic cuddling was nice, very comforting and cuddle-like, but I still wanted to jump him. Tho, not so much this time cos of him, as cos of him being a guy and there and all guy smelling. Movie KICKED ASS! They did a GREAT remake of it, and EVERYONE in the universe should see it. But read the book first, so you get just how good the remake is.
Went to take the metro home, had no cash, and couldn't buy farecard with plastic cos I had already bought one farecard with plastic today. Nowhere does it tell you that if buying a farecard with a credit card you can only do so once a day! And, me without cash, I was SoL. Ended up calling Josh and begging him to bring me a couple bucks so I could get home, which he did, tho he actually just gave me a farecard with a couple bucks on it. He's a big sweetie. I coulda called Mom, but would have been there for like 2 hours waiting on her, and that's just ew. Couldn't go to an ATM, cos my actual ATM card, the account it's linked to only had $10 in it. And my credit card, I dunno the PIN for. I should find that out.
Oh, the Manic Panic Plum came out very nice. And I got to bed at 3 am Thursday, and got up at 8 am, having slept in chunks, and gotten maybe 2.5 hours of sleep total. So I'm fairly tired, and going to bed soon.

June 17, 2004 - 1:36 am

They ended up not doing the drug test Tuesday, possibly because I was late, I'm not sure. I was late because there was a broken down train on the red line, which caused a !45! minute delay! I was only about 20 minutes late tho, because I had allowed some extra travel time. The interview seemed to go well. The guy, John, who is the manager for all the stores, not just the California Pizza Kitchen, seemed understanding about the metro delaying me. He said he just needed to talk to Harta about where in the schedule Harta needed me, and Harta would call me back later.
Harta called me Tuesday afternoon, wanting me to come in Friday morn for the drug test, which I couldn't do, since I'm working at 11am Friday at Pizza Palace. So then he asked if I could come in Thursday morning, which I said I could. It's kind of annoying tho, because it means I end up spending another $5.50 on metro, when they could have done the drug test Tuesday and I wouldn't have had to make the extra trip. Oh well tho.
Justin and I ended up going to lunch, just to Jerry's, and it was alright. We didn't have a lot to talk about, because we had talked online so much, but we got on the topic of job related horror stories, and that was amusing. He's a nice guy.
I was playing with my budget, and discovered that if Cali Pizza Kitchen is paying $8 an hour, and I work the same amount of hours per paycheck that I have been, I'll be making roughly $50 more per paycheck, which will mean I'll be able to pay my credit card off at the end of August like I originally planned to.
And that's WITH my having just spent $146 on a 200GB hard drive. It's got a $60 rebate tho, so it end up being $86 for 200GB, which is WICKED! Decent price for hard drives is $1 per GB, and this drive ends up being 43 cents per GB. I'm all happy. And I now have 840GB of hard drive space in my computer, roughly 350 of which is NOT in use. *grin* I'm such a geek.
I also got my MP3 discman replaced at Sears today, because the original one wouldn't play MP3 CDs anymore. But we had gotten the 2 year replacement agreement, so it wasn't any big deal, or shouldn't have been. But I had lost the receipt, which wasn't supposed to be a problem, because we had bought it with our Sears card, so it was in their computer. But then the salesguy couldn't find it in the computer, and ended up having to call the credit department. They found it in about 2 minutes tho, which was nice. But then Sears didn't have any MP3 Discmans that were the same price as my original one had been, and Sears' rule is that a replacement under the protection plan has to be of equal or greater value. So what the sales guy ended up doing, was ringing up the best one they DID have at a higher price than it was actually marked. Insane, huh? But whatever.
It's a nice one, has a feature the old one didn't, it plays VBR MP3s, and it's a sony, so it supports Sony's proprietary format, AAC. And it came with a car kit, including an adaptor so it can be powered by the cigarette lighter, an adaptor that lets you connect the discman to the cassette deck in the car, which is nice since our car is old and only has a cassette deck, and a funky remote that is meant to be attached to the dashboard but will do me no good since I will mainly be using it while on the subway, bus, or walking. It also came with a decent enough set of headphones, and an AC adaptor, which is cool. The batteries are supposed to last 55 hours when playing music CDs, 65 when playing MP3 CDs, and 85 when playing AAC CDs, although I'd imagine the battery life won't be QUITE that good, but still should be fairly decent. One odd thing, the battery compartment is inside the player, so to change the batteries, you have to open the player and remove any CD that's in it. The Amazon page for my new MP3 Discman can be found here.
Well, that's about all for now. I'm thinking of going to see Stepford Wives tomorrow with some friends. Oh, and I'm currently in the process of dying my hair Manic Panic Plum, which based on the one strand I dyed the other day, I think will turn out nicely, not too dark like the other one did.

June 15, 2004 - 9:02 am

Got the second job interview at CPK today, and the drug test, and I'm feeling like I may decide I have privacy issues with the drug test, I dunno. Did you know that urine drug tests are often screened for a number of non drug things, such as disease and pregnancy? And the results aren't under your control, like your medical record. Does anyone else find that disturbing?
I got like 4 hours of sleep, and Justin wants to go to lunch. I told him we'd see.

June 15, 2004 - 12:12 am

So, a little catchup. I had decided that even tho Mike had been a total asshole when I was upset about Josh, that maybe he was a decent guy otherwise. So I had gotten to talking again, making it clear I was just looking to be friends with benefits. Which he said sounded good, only, every time I suggested doing anything, he was too busy. He wasn't however, too busy to spend hours on the phone with me, feeling sorry for himself cos of some girl he was in love with who didn't love him, or shit going on with his family, or whatever. Which I listened to, and sympathized with, and tried to make him feel better as much as I could, even when he was dancing really fucking close to the line between 'just upset' and 'fucked in the head to the point where professionals should be involved'.
So then, yesterday, I'm feeling down after talking to someone who was feeling down, and I IM Mike, hoping he'll listen and make me feel better, and for the 12 millionth time in my life, find myself trying to talk a guy into having sex with me. Which, really isn't a good feeling. Women aren't supposed to have to talk guys into sex, guys are supposed to want sex. Therefore, if I have to talk guys into sex, something is wrong with me. So I end up feeling like shit, which I tell him, and he says that I don't need to convince him to see me, or talk him into anything, not very convincing, but he made an effort. So I put an away msg up, vent in my diary about being tired of having to exert so much effort just to have some fun, and go to sleep.
Happen to sign onto his msg board today, and see that he posted saying he was 'tired of psycho bitches' and somehow turning my being tired of having to chase after guys into, I don't even fucking know what, but something somehow an attack on him, that constituted me being 'psycho'. This from a guy who has 'threatened' suicide at least twice since I've known him, although both times seemed a lot more like attention getting ploys than actual threats, and who had some very interesting ideas about how to display his love for a girl he knew, including giving her a jar full of his blood. And I'm psycho, for being tired of constantly having to be aggressive relationship wise. Yeah, that makes sense. Ah well. I'm sure there are other guys in the universe willing to play kinky fun games, and maybe I can even find some who will chase after me for a change.

June 14, 2004 - 1:59 am

I'm tired of having to chase after guys and practically beg them to fuck me. I'm tired of locking my self respect in a box in my mind just so I can stand to pursue whatever guy I'm lusting after this week. I'm tired of constantly having to exert massive amounts of effort for results that everyone else seems to get without even trying. Damnit, I just want some nice fun sex with a guy I can stand to be around as a person. So why is it that the only guys offering sex are the ones I can't stand, and the guys who are actually worth my time, I have to constantly chase after and do all the work to make anything happen? I'm tired of feeling like the only reason anyone ever plays with me is because I practically jumped them. Fuck it. To hell with all of it. I'm done.

June 13, 2004 - 4:06 am

OH!MY!GODDESS! I WANT IT! I want it so much. It's so pretty and shiny.

June 13, 2004 - 4:03 am

*FIRSTS:
SCREEN NAME: HelWitch, Hel for my IRL nickname, Witch cos I was rather wiccan at the time.
PIERCING/TATOO: Other than my ears (3 in right ear, 1 in left) my tongue. My first tat (hehehe, that sounds like a really weird kid's toy) will be my name in chinese characters on my shoulder behind my heart.
CREDIT CARD: A student visa from my bank, credit limit $500 (I didn't want a higher credit limit).
MAKEOUT SESSION: New Year's 2000 with Chris (yeah, I was 18.)
REAL BOYFRIEND: I'll let ya know
TRUE LOVE: See previous answer
BEST FRIEND: Hmm. Katie or Danielle, I just don't know
ENEMY: No clue
CONCERT: Not counting stupid ones I didn't want to go to, Nine Inch Nails
CAR ACCIDENT: Dunno, my father is rather accident prone
BROKEN BONE: None
STITCHES: 9 in my forehead when I was 4
*LASTS:
LONG CAR RIDE: couple hours every month or so driving up to house in BFE, or driving out to iowa when some random relative died
LIBRARY BOOK: umm, not sure. One my mom gave me after she read it I think
MOVIE: CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK!!! mmm, vin diesel.
FOOD CONSUMED: Chocolate cheesecake, just now, after pizza with chicken, brocolli and mushrooms.
PHONE CALL: Not counting work (I answer phones at a pizza place) my mother, calling me at 3:21 am to ask if I wanted a butterfly net. No, I did not. No, she is not sane.
CD PLAYED: um, I listen to MP3s. Oh, but wait. I bought a cd of NIN played by a string quartet, and listened to that.
ANNOYANCE: This woman at work, I don't even want to go into it
SODA: Giant Brand strawberry
ICE CREAM: Low Fat Fudge something, vanilla with fudge and mini peanut butter cups
TIME SCOLDED: hehehe. Was during a 'game' with a guy. *grin*
WEBSITE VISITED: Um, a webcomic, I forget which exactly
TIME YOU CRIED: When my cat died
TIME YOU LAUGHED: While reading webcomics a few minutes ago
*I...:
I AM: Capricious, Intellectually Elitist, Whimsical, Playful, Horny, 'Unspeakably wicked, mocking, teasing, clever, sadistic, moontouched, evil, feline wench, spawned from the darkest depths of the abyss' (the previous having been said by someone other than myself, but amuses me, and I think describes me fairly well)
I WANT: to be happy
I HAVE: lots of cool toys
I WISH: I had someone to play with, a particular person would be especially nice
I HATE: Closed/Small Minded People
I FEAR: People who think they know what's right for me
I HEAR: Voices. Or music. Sometimes the voices make music
I WONDER: If my life will turn out how I want
I LOVE: Strawberries, Thunderstorms, My cat, The color purple, resting my head on his chest while he wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly
I ACHE: to be content
I ALWAYS: say amuse, or conjegations thereof
I AM NOT: a nice person
I DANCE: only when no one is around
I CRY: infrequently
I AM NOT ALWAYS: emotionally distant, but usually
I WRITE: whatever the voices in my head dictate
I LOSE: infrequently, but well
I CONFUSE: most people
I SHOULD: get out more
*YES or NO: (I suck at yes or no, I'm too loquacious)
YOU KEEP A DIARY: *looks around* nope. no online diary here.
YOU LIKE TO COOK: once in a rare while
YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: A couple, yeah
HAVE A CRUSH: Kinda sorta not really
ARE IN LOVE: Nah
WANT TO GET MARRIED: Goddess no!
WANT CHILDREN: NO!
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS: No
THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: No
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: No
LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: Yeah, love them
*CURRENT:
HAIR COLOR: Dark Golden Blonde, but tomorrow it's getting bleached and dyed permanently 'Dark Plum'
EYE COLOR: Blue Grey, and it rarely changes, tho I've been told when I'm particularly upset they go pure grey and lose the blue. Never seen it myself tho
HAIRSTYLE: My default, pulled up and messily clipped at the back of my skull, with some annoying lil tendrils having slipped lose.
SHIRT: A soft thin Blue V neck with the 3 collar buttons undone
PANTS: None
SOCKS: None
SHOES: The black plastic sandals I got at CVS, they make good slippers
MAKEUP: Some purple mascara and eyeshadow I haven't wiped off yet
MUSIC: Savage Garden-Break Me Shake Me on endless loop (WICKED good song, EVERYONE should listen to it)
WEATHER: no clue. Thermometer says it's 63 outside, and I know it's dark.
TIME: getting on toward bedtime
MOOD: pensive, reflective
*FAVORITES:
NUMBER: 13 or 69. Or anything with 7 digits
COLOR: PURPLE, black, silver, blood red. But especially purple, the rest are just accents
DAY: Any that I spend time with people I enjoy the company of
MONTH: That's kind of a stupid question. Do people really have favorite months?
SONG: Depends on my mood really. I'm in a Break Me Shake Me mood right now
MOVIE: Welcome to the Dollhouse
SEASON: Late spring or early fall, hen it's warm but not hot and icky
DRINK: Anything Strawberry, like Strawberry soda, Strawberry daquaris, or seagrams wild strawberry cooler
MEAL: a healthy balanced yummy one
FLOWER:Anything black or purple
HOLIDAY: Don't have one really. Xmas cos I get new toys?
QUOTE: I've got a whole fricken file of 'em. Click here to read it
*PREFERENCES:
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: Can't I do both?
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Hot Choc, def
MILK, DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: DARK chocolate baby!
RAIN OR SUN: Depends on my mood, but generally rain
TOP OR BOTTOM: Switch
TV OR MOVIE: Neither really
DAY OR NIGHT: I'm SOOO nocturnal
DVD or VHS: DVD, cos it's got all sorts of nifty extras
FLUFFY PILLOW OR HARD PILLOW: Fluffy
TAN OR WHITE: I prefer the geeky pallor actually
TALL OR SHORT: Taller than me, which isn't difficult
TALK OR LISTEN: Listen
LEAD OR FOLLOW: Lead
*IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU:
CRIED: No
HELPED SOMEONE: In a couple very small ways, yeah
BOUGHT SOMETHING: yeah, I got a lil shop happy today, bought makeup and a purse and hair dye and a tongue ring
GOTTEN SICK: no
GONE TO THE MOVIES: not in the past 24, no, cos of work.
GONE OUT FOR DINNER: no
SAID "I love you": no
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: not in years
TALKED TO AN EX: Nah, cos he wasn't online
MISSED AN EX: Yeah
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL: Counting this entry, yeah. Not counting it, no, it's been like 36 hours
HAD A SERIOUS TALK: Nah
MISSED SOMEONE: Yeah
HUGGED SOMEONE: No
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND: No
BRUSHED YOUR TEETH: Of course!
TAKEN A SHOWER: Nope. I bath like every day and a half, one morning and then the next night
*WOULD YOU EVER:
EAT A BUG: Sure
BUNGEE JUMP: Absolutely, it's on my list of things to do
KILL SOMEONE: In certain circumstances
PARACHUTE: Yeah
WALK ON HOT COALS: Maybe
GO OUT W/ SOMEONE FOR THEIR LOOKS: Only if they had a decent personality too. Looks-personality=Bored Hel
BE A VEGETARIAN: Nah, I like bloody food
WEAR PLAID W/ STRIPES: Only if I was in a mood where I really didn't give a damn how I looked
KISS A GIRL: Sure
KISS A BOY: Absolutely
I.M. A STRANGER: Yeah
SING KARAOKE: No
GET DRUNK: nah, I tend to think drinking to excess is a form of escapism, and I'm anti escapism
SMOKE A CIGERETTE: Nah, not a fan of tobacco
SMOKE WEED: See answer on drinking
GO TO A STRIP CLUB: eh, why? waste of money
SHOPLIFT: Shoplifting is bad. *wink*
RUN A RED LIGHT: Only if there were no other cars or pedestrians or anything, and then slowly
BE IN A PORNO: Nah
DYE YOUR HAIR BLUE: Blue? No. Purple? HELL YES
BE ON SURVIVOR: Maybe
WEAR MAKEUP IN PUBLIC: Um, of course
NOT WEAR MAKEUP IN PUBLIC: yeah
CHEAT ON A TEST: yeah
MAKE SOMEONE CRY: yeah
DATE SOMEONE MORE THAN 10 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU: yeah
DATE YOUR BEST FRIEND: Not my current best friend
STAY UP ALL NIGHT: Yeah, I'm totally nocturnal

June 11, 2004 - 7:28 pm

So I went to work. It didn't suck. Wasn't good, but didn't suck. Cute boi never came in tho. I bailed on going to the sex shops with Emily, cos I thought I was going to be all sleepy. But then it was raining, and I walked home in the rain, and got all wound up. I'm so sleep depped and wound up right now it's kind scary. I wanna go out and do something, anything, with anyone. But I'm gonna sleep, cos I have a job interview tomorrow at 2:30, and work at 5.
OOO, I found out, Verizon DSL 3.0/768 DSL is going to be $45 a month. 3.0/768 works out to 20Mbytes a minute download, and 5Mbytes a minute upload. For those of you who are non-techy, a single MP3 generally averages 5 Mbytes. So I'll be able to download 4 MP3s a minute, and upload 1 MP3 per minute. Sweet, huh? And DSL is better than cable cos the bandwidth isn't shared, doesn't get slow if here's heavy usage in your neighborhood, and there's no usage caps, no limits on how much you can USE your bandwidth, like a lot of cable companies have.

June 11, 2004 - 6:54 am

I slept like 10 hours Wednesday during the day, less than 4 hours Thursday morning, and thanks to my mother calling me at 3:21 this morning, I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. I had planned things quite well, I got to bed at about 11:45 Thursday night, and didn't have to be up until 9:30 this morning. But then the stupid bitch couldn't read a fucking clock and called me at 3:21 in the morning. I tried to go back to sleep after I got off the phone with her, but she woke me at the exact wrong moment for me to be able to get back to sleep. So after lying in bed for half an hour, I got back up, had a small snack and some hot chocolate, and tried to go back to sleep at around 5 am. Given the time I'm typing this, you can guess how well that went. I'm seriously thinking about calling off work, because my head is already hurting from being tired, and if I go to work, I'm going to be tired, and have to deal with shit from those assholes I work with, and my head will explode. But if I don't go to work, it costs me $40, and I may miss out on my last chance to get to know that cute guy who has been coming in, since I may be changing jobs soon. Hmm. I think money and cute guy's screenname are going to win out over sleep and my brain not exploding and leaking out my ears.

June 10, 2004 - 11:00 pm

So, ended up seeing CoR with Emily, which was cool, cos she drove, even tho I couldn't cuddle up to her during the movie. (Cos she doesn't get that cuddling isn't necessarily flirting.) So I had a map and instructions how to get there, except it said take 66, and there was no sign for 66, so I didn't know where 66 was, except we finally figured it out, but meanwhile we had ended up at like Georgetown University and then like 20th and E. But we got to the movie 12 whole minutes before it started, and got decent seats. And we'd had dinner at Jandara beforehand, which was cool.
I'm SOO mad, cos they made Kira (Jack) this totally kickass character, and then they didn't do enough with her, and they killed her off. Maybe. Probably. They faded out in time that if they want to for the 3rd movie, they can do 'We can make you better, we have the technology' thing, but I dunno if they are going to. And dear goddess I'd forgotten how ultimately fuckable Vin Diesel is. And what was up with Kira/Jack's eyes at the end of the movie? They kinda looked like Riddick's. And how come the other Furyan guy didn't have Riddick eyes? Cos Riddick is that special? Or cos other guy's eyes got messed up when he got made a necromonger? And dude, the two people in the world who made Riddick human are dead now. Is he gonna stay human for Iman's kid's sake, or what? I'm really hoping for Jack/Kira isn't dead tho.
So, the cali pizza kitchen job MAY still be available, I'm going in for an interview saturday. And going to sex toy store(s) in Georgetown with Emily tomorrow after I am done with work, unless I'm tired. I'm all sleep depped and silly tho, cos I only got 4 hours of sleep wednesday night/thursday, and have to be up at 9:30 tomorrow. But am going to bed....NOW. G'nite.

June 10, 2004 - 7:44 am

So I got free tickets to an advance screening of Chronicles of Riddick. How wickedly cool is that? And I tried to find someone to go with, but everyone was busy, so I finally ended up asking Josh, and he's going to go if his mom will let him bail on dinner with her. I hope she will, cos it'd be nice to cuddle up to someone while drooling over Vin. (Cuddling is allowed! I specifically inquired if cuddling was allowed as friends, and Josh said it was. *grin*)

June 09, 2004 - 1:21 am

Was showing someone old entries in my diary, and saw my 'guys I've fucked or sucked list', and decided it should be updated. So, here's the update-
Nick B.-Sucked late november 2002, fucked end of december 2003. Barely spoke to in between, and barely since. Nice enough average sized cock tho.
Derek L.-played with but neither sucked or fucked, I forget exactly when.
Edit-Brian whatshisname, after we saw Jeepers Creepers 2, 'cept I totally forget what we did. *grin*
Mike M.-Sucked and fucked may 2004
Josh R.-Played with and Sucked may 2004
I think that's the update. I may have forgotten someone, but I don't think so.

June 07, 2004 - 12:50 am

I very nearly quit my job today. I've reached critical mass on my 'dealing with bullshit from coworkers' ability. I'm going to try and find out if the job offer at california pizza kitchen is still good. If so, I'm so gone.

June 04, 2004 - 7:53 pm

Bored so took this survey from someone else's diary.

June 03, 2004 - 10:29 pm

Bloody hell I'm horny. And no boitoys to play with! SOOO tempted to break my time rule about meeting guys and go play with some cute boi off okcupid, but not going to. Have to be up early for work after all, and more importantly, don't want to hate myself in the morn. But goddess I want a good hard rough fuck.
My pepper spray finally arrived today. I'm really amused by the fact that it has a lil thing that says 'if you use this spray in self defense, send us a copy of the police report and we'll send you a new canister of pepper spray'. Katy wanted me to go attack ppl just to get a new thing of pepper spray, but I pointed out that if I did that, the police report would not show it as self defense.
My mother drives me insane. She scheduled the plumber to come today, but didn't bother to tell anyone, so my uncle didn't leave a check to pay, and then the plumber showed up and I didn't know he was expected, so I was all surprised and acted quite ditsy I'm sure. And then my mother doesn't show up til like 45 minutes after he did, and wonders why I got pissed off, when I had told her I'd schedule the damn plumber. That actually triggered my current mood in a round about way, cos when I repress anger, it surfaces as other strong emotions, and me being me, that's generally lust, cos really, what other emotions do I generally feel?

June 02, 2004 - 7:05 pm

Went to the zoo with Josh today. Emily was supposed to come with, but she bailed. And I'm rather glad she did. Was fun hanging out with Josh, but I think Emily would have been too high maintenence. So, yeah, I can do the friends thing with Josh, tho I'd rather it were friends with benefits. But even without 'benefits', I'm still gonna do the feline thing and toy with him. *grin*

June 01, 2004 - 2:11 pm