July 27, 2002 - 1:11 pm

So, I was writing an entry last night, and IE crashed before I could hit the done button. Stupid MS. And I don't really remember what I was writing about. So anyway.
So Friday during the Late Afternoon Program (LAP), I called a bunch of kids idiots. What happened was, it had been raining all day, so they were all energetic and insane. And when we started the video, they wouldn't be quiet. They were being loud, and running around. And I kept telling them to sit down and be quiet, and kept getting ignored. And then someone said to me, "well, you yelling is more annoying then they are." And I said "well, I wouldn't have to yell if these idiots would just behave." And so of course, a bunch of them, mainly the ones who were misbehaving, got all annoying about that. "We're going to get you fired." "We're going to tell Sharon." (Sharon is the LAP director) "You shouldn't call us idiots." To which I replied, "go right ahead." "go right ahead." "then don't act like idiots."
And I am not worried about it. There is only one week of camp left, and even if there wasn't, I wouldn't get fired for calling them idiots once. Plus, it was LAP, not regular day camp, and Sharon is much nicer then Tim. I am pretty sure she would understand just losing my temper for a moment, and letting my mouth get ahead of my brain. But the whole damn thing was just a big annoyance. them misbehaving, and causing me to get upset enough to lose control of the part of my brain that keeps me from calling them idiots.

July 25, 2002 - 7:50 pm

So, I actually had fun today at work. Silly madness, but fun. I kept trying to untie Nick's shoes, and Kate and Whitney were running around being crazy, and Chris (Kate's BF, last name Romely) and I were laughing at K and W. And K kept making modern art with balloons, and I kept untwisting the balloons, and then she would make it into new stuff. And I was throwing K's shoes at this CIT. It was fun.
When I got home, I was reading old entries in Sellon's journal, and he kept mentioning these 2 bands, super furry animals, and the butchies. So I am DLing some songs from both. Listened to juxtasposed by SFA so far, and it was neat. Electronic, combined with very mellow instruments, and fun lyrics.

July 21, 2002 - 9:26 pm

I forget If I already did and posted this. If so, wonder if I got the same results this time.

July 21, 2002 - 2:50 pm

So, I got my tongue pierced on friday the 19th. It really didn't hurt that much. About as much as getting ears pierced did. Less even, in a way, because ears pierced is two ouches, and tongue was only one. It's kinda annoying tho. The barbell has to be long to allow for swelling (tho I have yet to see any swelling). And I have a small mouth, according to my dentist anyway, and the stupid barbell is too long. It keeps getting in my way. ESPECIALLY when I am eating.
I've actually been being really bad, and taking it out when I eat. I stick it in a little cup with hydrogen peroxide in it, and eat quickly. Then I mix hydrogen peroxide and water, rinse my mouth with it, stick the barbell back in, and then rinse again. I know it's really bad, but it's so much trouble trying to eat with the stupid thing in. But I am not planning to take the barbell out to eat at camp. I'm gonna get like a muffin for breakfast from Smoothie Time, nibble little bits of the muffin all morning, and then be very picky about what I eat at lunch.
The guy at the piercing place (Artists Ink in College Park) said that Listerene is too harsh for a new tongue piercing, and they recommend sea salt mixed with water. Between that and the hydrogen peroxide (what I always used when I got my ears pierced, cos alcohol causes scar tissue), it seems alright.
Everyone said it would get all swollen, and it hasn't, tho I read online that the worst swelling happens on days 3-5, which will be Monday-Wednesday. And my sister said that there was a bunch of pus from hers on the second day. I got it pierced at 8:15 (or so) on Friday evening. Around 4 saturday afternoon, just before I took it out to eat the first time, I saw a little bit of pus, but not really a lot. And when I took it out to eat shortly thereafter, I didn't see any. And haven't since. So I'm thinking maybe hydrogen peroxide is useful.

July 07, 2002 - 4:27 pm

So, I wrote out my List of Things to Do Before I Die page for my website. I think it's interesting. I doubt anyone else will. :)
So, I finally IMed C last night. Quick review. He and I were friends a few years ago, and I pretty much used him. And handled the situ badly, and the friendship ended. And I realized fairly soon after, just how badly I had messed things up. But I never got in touch with him.
And so recently, a friend of mine, who is a friend of his, and who talked to him every once in a while, pasted me an entry from his journal about his being confused about certain things about who he was. And it didn't suprise me that he was dealing with a personal identity issue, althought I would have bet on it being a different issue then the one the journal entry says it is.
And so the girl who has been in touch with him, K, was telling me what she was saying to him in regards to this issue. And I love her dearly, and I know she means well, but she is very young, and fairly sheltered, and her family is rather religious. So her views on things, and reactions, aren't always the best. And this was one of those times.
The things she was saying, were just the wrong things. She wasn't thinking about what was best for C, or how she could help and support him. Or maybe she just doesn't have enough experience to deal with the issue. I dunno. But anyway, she was saying the wrong things. She was saying, "be this", (this being the ordinary thing, but not the thing he feels like), "I like you as this". And anyone who has every had an identity issue to deal with knows, that if you feel that you are something out of the ordinary, and someone you care about is saying, be ordinary, it makes it a lot harder.
And I tried to tell her this at the time, tried to tell her that unless she WANTED to make things harder for him, what she should be saying was "I care about you, and will continue to care about you no matter what." But she blew me off, said she knew what she was doing. Which I highly doubted even then. So I asked her to ask him if it would be alright if I IMed him. Cos even tho our friendship ended a while back, I still care about him, and want him to be happy. And I figured if I could IM him, then I could tell him, "She means well, and she does care about you, and will continue to do so. She is just too young to know how to support a friend going through this sort of thing." But he said (through her) that it wasn't a good time for me to IM him, some other time would be better. So, I was out of luck.

July 05, 2002 - 11:42 pm

So. Been a while, my bad. Camp started. I'm working late afternoon program, so it means I'm there from 8:30 am til 6 pm. Wears me out, but it will all be worth it when I get PAID!

So this guy, C, who features prominantly in some entries a few years back. We were sorta friends, and then I did my whole using thing, and it royally fucked things up. And then J and C decided not to be friends with me anymore that summer. J said it was because he didn't like my attitude. C didn't say much, just agreed when I said it was cos I was a bitch.

So, neway, now C is having personal issues. Pretty much was then too. And I'd kinda like to get in touch with him again. I got his sn from a friend of mine who is a friend of his still. But with how things ended, I'm kinda iffy about IMing him.

Anyhow. I'm gonna go create a page for my website. Cos I wrote out my list of things to do before I die, and I wanna code and post it. So, bbl, with URL.