February 28, 2005 - 4:00 pm

So had dinner with Brian (air force brian, not wisconsin brian) last night. He was totally late, cos he got lost, which was amusing, cos he called and was all 'I'm somewhere in DC! The Grue is gonna eat me!'. We went to kramer's, which was ok, not great. Losta good books, not so much lotsa good food. Well, the food may have been good, but it was bloody expensive, so we just ended up splitting an appetizer thing. He was cute, and amusing. We're probably going to hang out again later this week. I so don't want to go to work today, but there's not enough snow for me to justifiably bail.

February 27, 2005 - 7:42 am

So, I'm actually feeling mostly human, 'cept the part where my uterus has grown teeth and is trying to chew it's way free of my body. But moderen medicine takes care of that handily. I intend to actually go to work today! And quite probably go out with Brian after work too.

February 24, 2005 - 6:00 am

So, my temp when I woke up yesterday was 102.6. It's 100.3 now tho. I'm going to the doc this morning, if it doesn't snow too much. Since this one bad coughing fit last night, I've had a sharp pain in along the right side of my skull, next to my eye. I really hate being sick enough to be miserable but not sick enough to be unconscious.

February 21, 2005 - 5:49 am

I felt really tired, but I couldn't sleep, my head hurts, I'm shivering even tho my bedroom is 79 degrees, my throat hurts, I'm coughing, and I've got a fever of 101.7. And I usually am a bit cooler than 98.6, like 97.5 or so.

February 15, 2005 - 4:45 am

4:30 in the fucking morning, I have to be up at 9 to take the fucking subway to school because my mother doesn't want to fucking drive me, and she makes so much fucking noise she wakes me up, even tho I sleep with earplugs in! And then when I ask if she'll drive me, cos it means I can sleep an extra 45 minutes, SINCE SHE WOKE ME UP, she says 'well this wouldn't happen if you weren't here'. I have 2 tests today, Math and French, and I am now left with the choice of either going to school for 8 hours after having gotten at MOST 4.5 hours of sleep, (if I go back to bed like now, and get 3 hours to combine with the 1.5 I got earlier.), or skipping Psych so I can sleep in, so I'll have actually gotten a decent amount of sleep before my tests. Oh, except I just checked the discussion board for the class, and it turns out this is like the one class the prof is going to be taking attendance in, so I can't skip it. Damn it.

February 12, 2005 - 5:57 am

So, currently, there are 4 guys I'd like to go on a date with. 3 guys I met on okcupid who I have yet to meet IRL, but have gotten to the point when an IRL meeting would be a good thing, and 1 guy I dated this summer, who neglected to mention certain aspects of his personality while we were dating. And Monday is Valentine's day, and I'm toying with the idea of making dates with the 3 I have yet to meet, all for Monday. The scheduling would be interesting, since I do have to work Monday eve. But it'd be nice to finally meet each of them, and it'd be an awful lot of fun to have 3 different dates on valentine's day. *sigh* I'm so bad. *grin*

February 10, 2005 - 1:20 am

My mother is completely fucking insane. No, seriously. She hadn't taken the trash out in 5 weeks. She told me last night she took the trash out, but when I looked, she hadn't. So I did, including the nasty rotten meat from the freezer dying that she said she wanted to feed to the dog. And today she's pissed because of this, and told me to get out. But, oh, wait, it's not her house, and I'm not going anywhere. Goddess knows I wish I could, but my bro won't admit she even has any problems, so he's certainly not going to come clean up after her, and her bro (my uncle, duh *smile*) doesn't particularly care if she has problems, he just doesn't want to get involved. So that leaves me stuck here. *sigh* Had like a 2 hour convo with Ed about this, about all the reasons why I have no other options available, which was fairly depressing.

February 06, 2005 - 2:56 am

So, I'm thinking of leaving. Ann owes me at least $10,000 from the bank account grandma had started for me that she let Ricky spend. $10,000 would be enough to live on til I found a job someplace. Someplace warm, california maybe. Hmm, earthquakes tho, boo. But I know that if I actually have to work for a living, I won't be finishing college anytime soon, which would be bad. And not having a driver's license or a social security card makes life difficult too, or would. Hmm. Well, I certainly wouldn't be leaving before the end of this semester. So, tasks to complete before then, getting a replacement socsec card, and getting my license. And ya know, maybe I could just go to school someplace a couple hundred miles away. That might work.

February 05, 2005 - 11:32 pm

I am who I am. I can't change that, no matter how much I want to. I can force myself to behave differently than I'm inclined to, but it doesn't change who I am. And anymore, I really don't feel like it's worth the effort. What has controlling myself ever gotten me, hmm?

February 05, 2005 - 9:47 pm

Goddess help me, because I don't really think I can help myself any more. I'm just...done, tapped out.