August 31, 2002 - 9:08 pm

Liz's psych test results

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

August 31, 2002 - 8:50 am

August 27, 2002 - 2:50 pm

Ok, is it so fucking wrong of me to want to hang out with my friends? Without their current boys (friends, toys, soul mates, whatever)? Cos lately, every damn time I make plans with my friends, one or more of them bring along some guy. And it is now officially WAY past the "pouty cos they have guys and I don't" stage. It has now reached "extremely pissed, cos I never see just my friends anymore".
And you might be thinking, well, so, hang out with the friends who didn't bring a guy each time, as it must occasionally differ, and then eventually, you will have hung out with all of them. And in theory, that works. Except, as you must know, since you exist on the planet earth, and are therefore either a guy or girl, (you must be one or the other, even if your physical and mental states don't match), when you have a group of ppl of the same gender, Ie:all girls and you mix in ppl of the other gender, IE:a straight guy into the aforementioned group, the behavior of the ppl in that group changes.
And that is the problem. Even the girls who rn't with or lusting after the guy who is there, still act differently. Less relaxed. And therefor, less fun to hang out with. I wouldn't mind if it was a once in the while thing, or even like half the time. But in the past month, there has not been one single thing I have done with my friends that did not include someone who falls into some category other then person I am friends with. It's been, boyfriends, and aquaintences, and other friends, and ppl who live nearby, and even adult (40 y/o) family members!
Now, the reason for this rant is that tomorrow, Kate and I were going to finally go to the zoo, which we had been planning for QUITE a while, tho the date had been a bit tentative. And we invited Jen and Liz, cos they r ppl Kate had been friends with for a while, and I had gotten to be friends with this summer. Only, now, it turns out, that either Kate or Jen (I am not sure which, cos Jen said Kate, but she also said she wanted him to come) invited this guy Kate used to like, for about 5 seconds, named Ben. And last time he came to something, Kate spent the whole time curled up around him. Not making out, but wrapped around him none the less. And someone invited this guy, Basil, who is a complete and utter moron. He's one of those guys who is fairly well off moneywise, and reasonably good looking, and has the personality of something you'd scrap off your shoe if you stepped in it. Yeah, I don't like him. He was frequently in my room this summer, and really annoyed me. And beyond that, he was one of the guys who dropped a kid on their head at camp. And he didn't give a damn. I brought up the subject on one of the last days of camp, when he was in my room yet again, and he totally blew it off. Didn't give a damn that the kid got hurt. And Liz invited her boyfriend Byron, who, while not a bad person, has ISSUES.
So, the count is, 3 of my friends, one person (Ben) I don't really know, who one of my friends will likely be all over, one person(Bryon) who, while I don't dislike him, isn't a friend of mine, and one person (Basil) I really dislike and don't care to be around. Now, if it was just Byron or Ben, or maybe even Byron and Ben, I would probably just get over it, and go. I would have less fun, but o well, I'd deal. Wouldn't be happy about it, but would deal. But add Basil, and fuck it. I am not going.
And it really annoys me. Kate KNOWS I don't like Basil. She mentioned inviting him to do something, and I said, something I'm not going to be at thanks. And she invited Ben too. Now, alright, I didn't flat out say, Us only. Apparently I should have. But Kate knows I can't stand Basil. And she invited him anyway. WITHOUT EVEN FUCKING TELLING ME. If Jen hadn't happened to mention it, I wouldn't have even known. AND I WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH JUST MY FRIENDS, at least once this summer.
So, I'm not going. And when I told Jen that, she get all mad at me. And I am quite sure Kate is going to get pissy too, nevermind all the utterly inconsiderate shit she does. Hopefully, at least Liz won't bitch at me.
On the Subject of inconsiderate shit Kate had done, We were supposed to go to the zoo Monday. And I had my allergy shot, so I had to do extreme arranging of my schedule to be able to go to the zoo. And then Kate bails. On Monday morning. And she says, well, her mom isn't letting her out of the house. I ask, didn't she tell her mom about the plan ahead of time? Well, no, cos it wasn't sure when we were going. Never mind that it had been planned for a week, to be on monday, and on Saturday I had emailed both Kate and Jen, to say monday was good. I had only mentioned that it was a problem, cos of my allergy shot, on sunday evening. Well after she should have told her mom about it, to make sure that her mom would let her, knowing her mom. And even when I mentioned it might be a problem Sunday nite, I ended with, it would probably work out. And I was supposed to call her at 11 on monday, but by then, I was already at the doctor's. And she talked to Jen at like 11 anyway, and I had called Jen, cos I could call Jen earlier then I could call Kate. So, she bailed. And now, I think she just did it cos, Basil got back from vacation today, and she wanted to invite him.
Ok, I am done now. Still pissed, but slightly less nuclear.

August 26, 2002 - 4:22 pm

Ok, so, last entry, I was talking about stuff I had done with friends. And this is kinda about that too, except, different mood.

August 07, 2002 - 9:11 pm

So, was just out. Saw Spy Kids 2 with Amsley. O, and had seen signs yesterday with Jen and Nick and Kate and Amsley and Andrew. More about that in a min.
So, Today. Spy Kids 2 with Ams. I went a bit early, was going to get some food. Only when I got to Smoothie Time, and went to get out my check card, I realized I didn't have it. So I used one of my buy 7 smoothies, get one free cards, cos I have a couple that have 7 stamps on them. And Amsley had already gotten the tickets online, or rather her dad had. And then she got her own soda. We went to Ruby Tuesday's after, and SHE COULDN'T FIND HER CREDIT CARD!! And it's her mom's! She had it at the theater. So I was going to pay for our food with a check, but they don't take checks. So Ams ended up having to use an emergency $20 she had in her wallet. I felt SOO bad. But we are going to go see XXX on friday, and I will just pay for everything, and feel better.
So, we get done at Ruby Tuesday's, and her mom is driving me back, and we go around the corner from the theater, and Ams says, "Isn't that what's her name?" And I looked, and it was Kate and Jen. And so I said to Ams's mom, "you can let me out here." So I ended up hanging out with Kate and Jen from about 7-9. We stood around by Smoothie Time for a few minutes, but Kate's sandal had broken, so we went to my house to fix it. Only I didn't have a staple gun, so we couldn't.
I did something I REALLY shouldn't have done. I was online chatting last nite with Nick, who is with Jen. Not dating, but only because he made a rule not to "date" anyone for the year before he leaves for college. Anyway, so, last nite, he and I chatted, and he told me about what he and Jen had done the nite before, and how he felt about her. And so when Jen and Kate and I were hanging out, I told Jen what he had said. And then when we were at my house, I let her read the IM, cos I have a program called AIM+, that keeps a history of all your convos. And I know I shouldn't have, cos Nick complained before about ppl doing that, about Liz letting Jen read things Nick had said to Liz about Liz. But this was sorta different, this was the person the things were about, right? Yes, I know, I am reaching, and trying to justify my actions. O well.

August 06, 2002 - 12:02 pm

So. The movie yesterday was fun. Saw Minority Report, and it was definately good. And Haning out with Ams was fun, cos I hadn't seen her in a while. We might do something again later this week.
So today, I am going to see Signs with Jen, Kate and Nick. And Kate got all whiney, cos she has already seen it, but there was a very tight time schedule, cos Jen doesn't get home from her camp until 4:15 or 4:30, and since I am going to be paying for 2 tickets, mine and Kate's, I wanted to go before 6, when the prices r cheaper. But I think Kate was mostly upset that Nick was coming to the movie, and so was Jen. Cos there was recently a whole big thing, I forget if I wrote about it, and it ended up with Nick and Jen together, and Kate feeling depressed, even tho she HAS a BF.
So, I did a little shopping yesterday, all I ended up buying was a CD. Nine Inch Nails, All that could have been. It's a compilation of live performances, and not just recent songs, earlier stuff too. Haven't listened to it yet, but will. Eventually. And my tongue ring stuff I ordered should get here today. Since we are meeting at the theater at 4:30ish, it MIGHT be here before I leave. I hope.
So that's it for now. More later. I've made the add an entry page of Diaryland my home page, so every time I open my browser, there it is. Makes it difficult to forget to write.

August 05, 2002 - 12:22 pm

YAY. Some of my friends like me. :) hehehe. Yes, I know. It's just that one little group, 3 ppl, who r acting like they rn't really my friends, but they are the group I hang out with the most often, especially during the summer. So them treating me the way they are, really bugged me. But anyway. Some of my friends still like me. :)
Ams called me last night, asked if I wanted to do something today. And I said yeah, but to talk to me today, cos I was all sleepy last night, what with the having been awake for 30 hours and all. So she called me this morning, at a quite reasonable 10:30, and said Minority Report, which we had discussed seeing, was playing at Mazza, at 1:15 or 4. And I said 4 sounded good, cos I wanna go get my allergy shot first, since Mazza is right near my doc's. So today should be fun. Might even do some shopping at Mazza.
So why you ask, was up I awake for 30 hours? Because camp had ended, and so I stayed up late friday nite. Til like 4 am. And then slept til 3 pm Saturday. So it was like 8 am Sunday morning before I got sleepy. And if I had gone to bed then, my sleep schedule would have been all fucked up. Yeah, my body would have thought it was perfect, cos I am so totally nocturnal. But when it comes to the whole interacting with other human beings thing, it helps to be awake during the daytime. So I stayed up from 3 pm Saturday, until 9 pm Sunday. I would have gone to bed earlier Sunday, but when the sun goes down, I wake back up somewhat. I was just DEAD tired at like 6 pm, but then around 8, just when I was thinking about letting myself go to bed,(cos if I go to bed too early, then I wake up in the middle of the nite, and that isn't good either.), I started to get energized again, and ended up not going to bed til around 9.
So, that was my weekend, that and the buying stuff on Saturday. And today I am off to allergy shot, movie, and maybe some shopping. And my banner has only gotten a 1.6% clickthrough rate. That means of all the ppl who have seen it, only 1.6% have clicked it. :( I only submitted it for 1000 views, so I added another 4000. Maybe it will do a bit better if it has a longer run. And if not, I have 25000 views left, I can make a new one.

August 04, 2002 - 8:59 am

Ok, so, I created my banner and uploaded it. I set it for 1000 views, and I will see what kind of clickthrough it gets. And I uploaded a pic of me to use in my profile, and included it in the HTML for my diary. And set up my comments, and extra fields, and a couple ppl I met in chat signed my guestbook, and notes.
I have now been awake for 18 hours, since 3 pm saturday. I should go to bed, but at the same time, I shouldn't. I should, cos sleep is good. But I shouldn't, cos that's all it will take to throw me into my old sleep pattern, having gone to bed friday nite/saturday morning at 6am and sleeping til 3pm Saturday, and then going to bed now, and sleeping til like 5 or 6. That's all it will take, and I will once again be nocturnal. So. I shall attempt to do other things, and see if my body will let me stay awake.

August 04, 2002 - 6:07 am

YAY Super Gold membership. Banners, and Stats tracker, and comments, and extra fields, image hosting, and diary backup. I'm having fun. Look for changes in diary shortly.

August 03, 2002 - 10:37 pm

They all suck. They totally ignore me unless they want something from me. Whenever they have a problem, they whine to me about it, but if I try to talk about something that is bugging me, they can't even pay attention. They take advantage of me, completely use me. They tell me all about their lives, make me swear not to tell anyone else, and then get pissed off at me when I don't tell what other ppl have told me. And THEN they get pissed off if I tell anyone else anything, even stuff that doesn't say anything, never mind that if I didn't tell THEM at least a little of what other ppl told me, they would get pissed. They ditch me, even when we were all working at the same place, we never hung out. And if I would go and find them and hang out with them, 5 minutes later they'd have to go do something. They never invite me to do anything. Most of the time, I don't even find out til later. And even when someone does mention it before hand, unless I totally invite myself, they STILL don't invite me. I sit there and drop hints, "o, that sounds fun. o, I'm free then." and they just ignore me. And when I am like, well, I think I'll come, they don't act like I am welcome. These ppl are supposed to be my friends, but lately I don't feel like they are anymore.