8/9/00 - 10:58 pm

The fifth was [email protected]. I now also have [email protected], and [email protected]. Again, there may be another one I can�t think of right now. So, camp is over. Highlights of the summer, let�s see. First session, $10 was stolen out of my wallet, I was upset. Then the second to last Thursday of camp, my wallet, with about $20 in it, and my discman, with my brand new Meredith Brooks CD in it, were stolen out of my bag, I think during lunch. Umm, camp was fun, it went by really fast. Oh, the beginning of the session, Chris (Sellon) checked himself into a mental institution. But he and Jason had decided they didn�t want to be friends with me anymore prior to that, and Jason had given me this little speech. I�m pissed, cos Jason still owes me $40 for the Nails concert tic, and he has my Twin Peaks book, and my Austin Powers video. And he goes off to college this fall, so I don�t even know when I�m going to get my stuff back. I talked to Jason maybe 5 times after he gave his speech, and 3 of those were about Chris being in the hospital. And the other 2 were about me getting my stuff back.

So, just after I was sick the first week of second session, he and Chris came up when I was at the bus stop, and Jason gave his little speech. Just after he sat down, he said something about not knowing what to say, and I said, �Look, I�m not ending this friendship until you pay me back me $40.� and he said something along the lines of �That�s not even what it�s about to me.� I wanted to say, well, it is to me, but I didn�t. He was searching for what he wanted to say, and I said, �Lemme guess, I�m a bitch, and you can�t stand me?�. He said no, not at all, then proceeded to spend 10 minutes saying, not in so many words of course, that I was a bitch and he couldn�t stand me. What he did say was that he did not like my behavior. And I said, well, I don�t give a damn. I�m having fun. At some point I said something about when I was done acting like this, in a year or whenever, and he said, very knowingly, �Oh, I don�t think it�ll be that long.� I said, �Oh, I think it will be.� I think I know myself and my own behavior a little better then him. I mean, he can�t even admit he wants to fuck Chris, how does he think he can tell things about other people better then they can themselves?

But anyway, I�m not friends with him or Chris anymore. Oh, Chris never really said much, just when Jason was talking for him, and said to him, well, don�t you want to say anything, Chris said he didn�t know what to say. Then he said, �well, just what she said before.� I said, �You mean, I�m a bitch and you can�t stand me?� He said yeah. So, at least he wasn�t a jerk, or a hypocrite. Oh, WOW. I just realized, Jason and I started being friends at that same bus stop, when he invited me to go see a movie at Mazza or something. And the friendship ended there. Cool. Well, I wasn�t really considering it overover until when Chris went to the hospital, and Jason refused to tell me anything after I said I was going to tell Kate.

When Chris and I had discussed what if was ever institutionalized, he had said he would want his friends to know, and he considered Kate a friend, and he had told her about his cutting, so when Jason was an asshole about me telling her, I hung up on him. I went to try and talk to him before class the next morning, and he was a complete prick, so fuck him. He actually went to Tim and had Tim come and give me a little speech, which pissed me off no end. I couldn�t tell Tim the whole thing, so I just had to stand there and listen to him say, �Well, we are all worried, but we just have to respect Mr. and Mrs. Sellon�s wishes.� And I�m standing there thinking �Fuck his parent�s wishes, I was doing what I would swear Chris wanted done.� But I was a good girl; I just smiled and nodded.

Anyway, last you will hear of Chris Sellon and Jason Hoffman, I promise, unless I�m bitching about Jason not paying me back, or on the off chance Chris changes his mind about not being friends, which I doubt will happen. Oh well.

So, this Monday, I went to 4000 Wisconsin to meet this guy I had originally met online. Good news, I didn�t get murdered. Bad news, I didn�t get murdered. That�s bad news, cos it means next time some guy begs me to meet him, I�m not going to say NO as quickly. Anyway, so I went to the theater to meet this guy, and it was totally a last minute plan, we made the plans at 2, and were meeting at 5:30. I got there early, and he showed up a few minutes later, and said he had to go back to work for some reason, he forgot a phone list or something. I think he was just being an asshole and ditching me, but it might have been true, cos if it wasn�t, it was a very bad lie. I�m really pissed about the fact that he didn�t even offer to drive me home, and it was raining! But oh well. Men are scum, life goes on. My dad bought me a purple digital camera, but I can�t seem to make it work on this computer, I�m very annoyed. It�s such a cool camera too. Anyway, that�s all for now. I�m going to go to bed, or maybe I�ll sign on to AIM for a few minutes, see if anyone interesting is on.