May 30, 2003 - 3:57 am

I saw this in someone else's diary, here actually, and liked it, so, decided to put it in here. I think it pretty much speaks for itself.

May 30, 2003 - 3:17 am

So, I'm still pretty depressed. Slightly less, but, not enough to make an actual difference. I spent the day burning things off my hard drive to CD, so I could delete them off the hard drive, cos, only had 891Mgs of 37.2Ggs free. Which, for those non techy of you, means, not a whole hell of a lot of space. Decided to go to the grocery store, so, asked uncle for some $. Went on the grocery store website, made up a shopping list from what was on sale. They've got beef round roast on sale, so, I figure I'll get some and cut it into steaks. So, I go up, I get mushrooms, to sautee with the steak, and also to make quiche with, eggs and cheese for quiche. Then I get to the meat dep, and they haven't got any of the beef that is on sale. And, this is at around 2 am, they won't be restocked until about 8 am. So, I was all set for yummy steaks with sauteed mushrooms, and, nope. So ends another chapter of "Hel's life sucks".

May 29, 2003 - 5:12 am

My life is exactly the same as it was 4 years ago. I could wake up tomorrow morning 4 years in the past, and the only difference would be some of my tois wouldn't be there, and my room would be arranged differently. And the year on the calendar would be different. That's absolutely IT. Nothing else is any different. Not even the things you would expect to have changed in 4 years. My life is at the exact same place. Hell, it's worse a little even, because 4 years ago, I was still in contact with Katie, and still saw Danielle on a fairly regular basis. Now, I haven't even talked to Katie in about 3 1/2 years, and haven't seen Danielle in about 1 1/2 or so, maybe a little less, maybe like 11 months. And, Katie and Danielle are the only two people I consider to be true real friends. Everyone else, either I'm just friends with them cos it's convenient, cos they are there, or, I'm just occasional friends with them, hardly ever talk to them, so it really isn't a real friendship. And, there are a FEW, very few ppl that, maybe could be real friends, but, they are online, and, all a bit far away, so, they really can't be REAL friends. They matter, and are important, but it's not the same. The last 4 years of my life could have never happened, and it wouldn't have mattered. Something needs to change. But, I've been here 100 times before, and said 100 times before, that something needed to change, and nothing ever does. The part of me that tells me my life is shit, the part I can normally push back and ignore, is right now all there is.

May 29, 2003 - 4:10 am

I need to get laid. I need good nasty dirty sex. With a guy who's cock ISN'T the size of my thumb! Cos, damn it, I want sex that results in orgasms, namely, MINE. mmmm. Guys fucking guys is hot. My absolute fav brand of porn. Well, second fav. Fav is multiple guys, one girl. :) And yeah, in case ya hadn't guessed, I'm sleepy and therefore altered, or I wouldn't be putting any of this in writing. Well, I'm off to go think happy thoughts.

May 28, 2003 - 5:51 pm

So, I contracted a bad case of cabin fever last night, and ended up going out to dinner and a movie with Amsley, which ended up being about $50. But, it was worth it. I honestly can't even remember the last time I went out and did something just for fun. Lately, it's almost all been doing tutoring, or errands. So, Ams and I went to Pizzeria Uno's in Georgetown, and then to Matrix Reloaded at the newish theater in Gtown, which we LOVE. It's got like 14 theaters, and they ALL have stadium seating and the kind of seats where the arm rests fold up. So, Cabin fever averted for the time being.
O, and, the second woman I had been tutoring, the 70 or so year old one, Polly, who I had only seen about 3 times, and who hadn't scheduled a tutoring session in 2 months, canceled for good last week. But, the other woman, the one who first contacted me in February, Cathleen, she's still getting tutoring from me, tho, a bit sporadically of late, and, some of the stuff she wants to learn to do, would really be easier to learn with 2 sessions a week instead of one. Which I explained to her, and she said sounded reasonable. So, there's that, and, summer job as a camp counselor starts the 23rd. But, all I've really been out to do lately was the tutoring, so, I really needed my night out last night.

May 27, 2003 - 4:45 pm

Yay. I found a good tables tutorial, and remembered some stuff I had forgotten, and got the code for my diary the way I want it. So I'm happy. Got all my little banners and things back in.
The mail came for today. No plastic yet. :(

May 27, 2003 - 2:21 pm

So, I got approved for a credit card. Student card, which means mom co-signed, and it had special approval rules where the fact that I don't have a regular job didn't matter, but still. YAYfor Credit card! $500 Credit limit (I applied for the bare minimum), 12.5% fixed APR, No annual fee, no fee for cash advances, 25 day grace period, and it's at the credit union my bank accounts are at, so, making payments is the simplest thing on the planet.
I decided to get the credit card now, after being, 'Me with a credit card? Nah' for so long, because my summer job is coming up. And, they way they handle purchasing supplies is, you buy whatever you need, then submit your receipts and they reimburse you. Which means, since I'm going to need about $250 worth of supplies purchased before the first day of camp, that I needed to have $250 to spare. Which I didn't. Only, with the credit card, I do, since I can buy it with the credit card, submit my receipts, get reimbursed, and pay off the credit card. And, if it takes less then 25 days from the day I make the purchase, then I don't even get charged interest.
And I've decided to buy some wholesale tongue rings, and a seal for using with sealing wax on letters, and some sealing wax. Cos, with the credit card, instead of saving up for expensive things, and buying them later, I can buy them now and then pay them off. But, I don't plan to go too crazy with it. Just going to use it for stuff that I can afford, but would have to wait and save to buy with cash. Instead of waiting and saving, I'll buy it, and then use the money I would have been saving, to pay the credit card. And, yeah, ok, I'll be paying $12.50 per hundred dollars for the convenience, but, that's not really so bad.

May 18, 2003 - 1:49 am

I am SO sick and tired of immature CHILDREN who don't understand personal responsibility, and try to blame other people for their mistakes.
So, Jane (not her real name) told Joan (also not her real name) something, something important, and Jane made Joan promise to keep it to herself, not tell ANYONE. And Jane specifically mentioned not telling Joan's boyfriend Drew, who Jane used to be friends with, until Drew did some things that really hurt Jane. So, Joan tells me this particular secret, which, Jane wasn't too upset about, since Jane was going to tell me anyway. But, Joan ALSO told Drew. Now, the reason Jane didn't want Drew told, was because in the past, Drew sent an email to a number of people, telling them something Jane had done, and, in such a way as to twist the facts and make it sound as tho Jane had acted in a way she hadn't.
So, anyway, back to now, Joan tells Drew, and Drew IMs me, looking for info on this issue of Jane's. Which, I don't give him. And, of course, I'm going to tell Jane that Drew now knows this, that he said Joan told him, because I KNOW Joan PROMISED not to tell anyone, and in particular not to tell Drew, and I KNOW Jane will want to know this, and she has a right to. So, before I get a chance to talk to Jane, Joan signs on, and I ask her if she told Drew, and she said she did. I tell her Jane will be upset, she says she knows, I ask her why she told him, if it was just an accident or what, she just stops talking to me. So, I tell Jane, Drew knows this bit of info, and Joan admitted she told him. Jane calls Joan, confronts her, Joan denies it. Jane tells Joan she knows, because I told her about Drew IMing me, and about talking to Joan, and Joan gets upset and hangs up on Jane.
Then, Drew starts in on me, that I shouldn't have told Jane that Joan had told him, that it's my fault Jane is mad at Joan now. NOT Joan's fault, for breaking a promise, and then lying when she got caught. No, MY fault, for TELLING Jane what Joan did. Never mind that, everyone who is friends with me knows that I don't keep things from people if it's something they deserve to know. I think it's wrong, to not tell someone something they need to know. Then, the next day, Joan emails me, and says the same thing, it's my fault for telling Jane. I told her off of course, but, it still bothered me.
And, then, before that, there was a whole thing with Jane not accepting responsibility for some things she had done, and, now there's a whole thing with Jane refusing to act responsibly. So, I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of immature ppl who don't accept responsibility for their own actions. And, if you are going to rag on me, and say I don't accept responsibility for my actions, you had better have a specific example that happened since I was 15.

May 13, 2003 - 12:28 am

Mmm, I am Lemon Flavoured. I am bitter and twisted. Expect from me acerbic humour and sharp commentary. While I may seem nasty at first, I'm actually quite good company if I like you, so long as you don't mind a bit of cutting to the chase. What Flavour Are You?

If I didn't taste like Lemon, I'd taste like Tomato.

Tomato is what I taste like. I taste like nothing, except a tomato. I'm sometimes sweet and sometimes tart; sometimes juicy, sometimes crisp. The roles of a tomato are many and varied. I am an exception to all the rules. What Flavour Are You?